I highly doubt that I will be able to sleep tonight. And there isn't anybody online to talk to. So I figured I might as well use the time to do something useful and blog.

Went to watch Shutter Island with Suang, Ming Sing and Mervin earlier today. The show was awesome. It wasn't a scary scary show, it was a psychological scary kind of show. The scenes were quite nice, the music was downright creepy and the overall screenplay was decent.

Basically Dicaprio plays a detective who is sent to Shutter Island, an island where crazy criminals are held, to investigate the disappearance of an inmate. As you may or may not already know, Dicaprio is actually the missing inmate. And the whole story is basically a physical reconstruction of the alternate reality which goes on in his head. And there, I'm sure you know now. Hahahaha I'm such an asshole for spoiling the twist.

Went for dinner and drinks at Timbre after that. Had two pizzas; the duck one was quite fantastic. And a couple of drinks. Which explains my current restlessness at 2 in the morning. Alcohol never fails to keep me awake. It's even better than coffee.

Perhaps I miss you more than you'll ever know.

It's strange how sometimes you suddenly notice things that have been there all the time. I've noticed that a lot of teenagers drink. Which is quite a duh statement. It's like once people hit 18, they start to discover the joys of the bottle.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not an alcoholic. I've never been able to get high on alcohol; the highest I've reached was lying on the floorboard of the rooftop garden staring at the stars in the sky and murmuring some song under my breath, following which I vomited my guts out twice. Not a very pleasant sight I assure you. And surprisingly, I've never gotten pissed drunk either. Most of the time, I just get tipsy. And I don't really like drinking either because even though I get drunk, I get insomniac as well. I always spend the better part of three or four hours (depending on the amount I drink) tossing and turning in bed, unable to get to sleep after I've had some liquor. I concede that the mind-numbing effects of alcohol have their uses on certain occasions but even then they're half-baked. There's always this little part of my mind that's still functioning when the rest of it is swathed in a sea of haziness where everything doesn't seem to matter and trust me, that SUCKS.

On the other hand, most people are able to get high on alcohol. I've no idea why.

Sometimes I wonder if alcohol is seen as a symbol of coolness. Like, if you don't drink you're uncool. Most people I've asked don't seem to think so though, they drink because they like it and they like the feeling which accompanies it.

Of course, it could just be me. In fact, it probably is. If most people see it as something normal and I see it as something strange chances are my thinking is not in tandem with the rest of my generation.

Ok I confess, I've just had a few glasses. LOL.

New Beginnings

Wow wow wow. I haven't been blogging for ages and these all look new to me now. Well I can't remember both my username and password and the only way i could retrieve my acct was through this blog address and an old email address. AND i didn't know we now need a gmail acct to log-in to blogger. Don't remember how to check when my last post was but it has to be 07 or 08 since i don't remember blogging for the whole 2 years of my army life.

Well. i dun think anyone knows who i am, except for a couple of phang's friends maybe, coz Phang has been keeping this blog going (except for his 1 year hiatus in 2009, and we all know what he had been busy with then.) and i havent been blogging. Life has been pretty mundane so far so i thought of keeping a diary or sthg like a diary, somewhere where i can enter my daily ramblings that i might have, about work, friends, family, lunch, dinner, mrt-ride to work, mrt-ride back home, tv progammes, etc etc and decide whether or not to publish them.

so since i titled this post New Beginnings, i guess that warrants a short intro: I am Mervin, an ex-classmate and friend of Phang. Currently doing an internship at OCBC bank. Heading to Imperial College London in Oct. and dormant co-owner of Ph-ang.blogspot.com. Well. so now on to some random ramblings of today.

Work was pretty routine except that it was monday and everyone was kinda moody and slightly sick. I had a sore throat and couldn't stop coughing but it's probably just the monday blues bug as i am feeling much better now, boss and cubicle-neighbour are also down with flu and cough. i guess when you work in air-con conditions, germs just spread around quickly. boss joked that we all missed work too much during the long weekend, so all fell sick together =.='

Quite glad that there are 7 other fellow interns who make my work-life less depressing with jokes and jibes at one another. It kinda makes time past faster. I still have 4 months remaining till the end of my stint at the bank, have learnt a lot so far and hope to learn more. Work nature has started to get repetitive recently and though i know that work in the real working world is bound to get repetitive, it kinda makes me wonder if i would am able to endure and stay in a long-term job in future if i don't have the interest in it. I guess the teachers have been right all along, about motivation of money being extremely limited in our future long-term career choice. We definitely need that passion and fire in whatever we are doing. banking is lucrative, but maybe i am not meant to earn that money, so perhaps i ll just have to watch all the cash flow down the drain.

but like phang said, people do change and adapt. so 5 years down the road, i might still end up a banker, who knows. I think there are bound to be times when one starts to feel exhausted from the daily work routine.

probably a break would be good. something more than a long weekend.

Mervin~

Disclaimer: This is going to be a long, boring post that will reek of extreme angst and unhappiness so if this is what gets your gander please feel free to close the window. Only I don't think that you will do so because you wouldn't be here in the first place if you were not interested in what I have to say, regardless of the nature of the posts that I churn out. Of course, I might also be flattering myself in thinking that people who are acquainted with me are actually still reading this bullshit, which in truth is quite a long shot, considering that my past ten posts have mostly been one-liners which convey as much meaning as a Kinder Surprise.

I was just thinking about things. Whittier once said, 'For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'it might have been'. Here's your last chance to click the red X at the top right hand corner of your screen before you get lost into this emotional mire which I'm only too happy to sink in. Anyway, back to the point, if there even was one to begin with.

I suppose it'd be romantic to think that you look back from time to time. Maybe you even wonder what might have been if things hadn't fallen apart. Heck, maybe you actually have regrets. Ok I think I'm pushing my luck too far now hahaha.

Honestly though, I do wonder if you've thrown away everything I've given you. My guess is no. But I don't suppose you'll ever look at that pink book the way you used to ever again. It'll probably be stashed in between the books in the cabinet above your writing desk for a long long time, assuming you didn't chuck it somewhere in the deep recesses of your wardrobe already.

I haven't been to the area where you stay in a long time. Perhaps 4 or 5 times in the last couple of months? Which is a drastic decrease, considering I used to go there 4 or 5 times a week. Haven't been to the mall either, where we used to go 3 or 4 times a week.

I think I know how you actually feel though. If I really knew you as well as you once told me I did, it's probably correct. But the key words are 'think' and 'probably', so I'm not going to say it.

Things change though. As do people. To be honest, I quite miss the girl with the geeky glasses who always squinted and scrunched her nose whenever she was concentrating hard, the girl who always wore tee-shirts with cute sayings like 'sing a happy song' at home and the girl who called me ten million times a day just to tell me everything, ranging from the mundane to the exciting to the unique, that was going on in her life.

All right, I think my train of thought just got completely derailed. On the bright side this incongruous post wasn't that emo.

Phang & Mervin

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