有 多 久 没 见 你

以 为 你 在 那 里

原 来 就 住 在 我 的 心 底

陪 伴 着 我 的 呼 吸

有 多 远 的 距 离

以 为 闻 不 到 你 的 气 息

谁 知 道 你 背 影 这 么 长

回 头 就 看 到 你


过 去 让 它 过 去

来 不 及 从 头 喜 欢 你

白 云 缠 绕 着 蓝 天

如 果 不 能 够 永 远 都 在 一 起

也 至 少 给 我 们

怀 念 的 勇 气

拥 抱 的 权 利

好 让 你 明 白 我 心 动 的 痕 迹


总 是 想 再 见 你

还 试 着 打 探 你 的 消 息

原 来 你 就 住 在 我 的 身 体

守 护 我 的 回 忆

I passed driving today. I didn't feel as happy as I thought I would; the joy I felt was muted. I guess this was exactly the sort of thing I would have called to tell you immediately after it happened. (passing driving not feeling muted joy) I still remember you were supposed to be my first passenger. In fact I think you were looking forward to me passing more than myself hahaha. Last time I had you but no license; now I have a license but I no longer have you. :/

So after that I made a half-hearted attempt to buy clothes for Chinese New Year. My mother has been bugging me to buy clothes but she always refuses to back me up financially. I've kind of lost whatever little interest I had to begin with in shopping as well because nothing caught my eye. I guess it does help when someone tells me not to get another striped polo to add to the stash in my cupboard or forces me to try on something because she thinks it's nice.

Sometimes I still wish you'd be waiting for me outside my house when I come home after a crappy day.

The adage 'too much of a good thing' is true. Everything in life needs to be in moderation - we can't always fly at dizzying heights and bask in exhilaration and joy and similarly, we can't always wallow in the depths of sorrow and despair. I'm not just talking about the emotional aspects but also the physical ones of course.

Recently, I've developed a sort of aversion to sleep. I know it seems ridiculous, considering that everybody always has too little sleep. Yeah but I guess it's precisely because I have too much time to sleep that sleep isn't a precious commodity anymore. I remember those school days when everyday would be a mad rush and waking up at 615 in the morning was a bitch. Well I wake up at 715 in the morning now and I get the luxury of not turning up at work whenever the occasion dictates that I don't. So I'm bumming around online at night doing zilch.

I've never really heard any of Taylor Swift's songs besides 'Teardrops On My Guitar' and 'Love Story'. Well I heard quite a lot of them today. And I must say that they suck. The lyrics to a few of the songs are fine but the tunes are all messed up. The songs are completely mangled bubblegum pop. Terrible. Give me mandopop anyday. Speaking of which there's only so many times I can go for walks with an ipod. It's getting kinda boring actually. Oh well until I find something else to do.

I know something's really fucked when I've lost interest in Pokemon cards.

And we know it's never simple, never easy,
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

I wonder if you still think about me the way I think about you.

Writing in my diary didn't make me feel any better.

有 一 种 想 见 不 敢 见 的 伤 痛

有 一 种 爱 还 埋 藏 在 我 心 中

我 只 能 把 你 放 在 我 的 心 中


这 一 种 想 见 不 敢 见 的 伤 痛

让 我 对 你 的 思 念 越 来 越 浓

我 却 只 能 把 你 把 你 放 在 我 心 中

想 念 是 会 呼 吸 的 痛

它 活 在 我 身 上 所 有 角 落

哼 你 爱 的 歌 会 痛

看 你 的 信 会 痛 连 沉 默 也 痛


遗 憾 是 会 呼 吸 的 痛

它 流 在 血 液 中 来 回 滚 动

后 悔 不 贴 心 会 痛

恨 不 懂 你 会 痛

想 见 不 能 见 最 痛


我 发 誓 不 再 说 谎 了

多 爱 你 就 会 抱 你 多 紧 的

我 的 微 笑 都 假 了

灵 魂 像 飘 浮 着 你 在 就 好 了


我 发 誓 不 让 你 等 候

陪 你 做 想 做 的 无 论 什 么

我 越 来 越 像 贝 壳

怕 心 被 人 触 碰 你 回 来 那 就 好 了


能 重 来 那 就 好 了

I've removed most of my posts that I posted this year. I haven't deleted them, I've just un-published them. So they're still around somewhere.

I'm contemplating starting a diary to pen down all my thoughts and emotions. Things that go through my head and my heart. Where I can really write down everything I feel.

我 怀 念 的 是 无 话 不 说

我 怀 念 的 是 一 起 作 梦

我 怀 念 的 是 争 吵 以 后

还 是 想 要 爱 你 的 冲 动


我 怀 念 的 是 无 言 感 动

我 怀 念 的 是 绝 对 炽 热

我 怀 念 的 是 你 很 激 动

求 我 原 谅 抱 得 我 都 痛


我 记 得 你 在 背 后

也 记 得 我 颤 抖 着

记 得 感 觉 汹 涌

最 美 的 烟 火

最 长 的 相 拥

谁 爱 得 太 自 由

谁 过 头 太 远 了

谁 要 走 我 的 心

谁 忘 了 那 就 是 承 诺

谁 自 顾 自 地 走

谁 忘 了 看 着 我

谁 让 爱 变 沉 重

谁 忘 了 要 给 你 温 柔

Had an absolutely torrid day at work today. I have an ulcer at the back of my throat so it hurts like crap whenever I try to swallow saliva or eat. And for some reason my stomach has decided to rebel today so I feel like hurling as well.

So basically I am depressed as fuck now. Mood is terrible. Not angry terrible but just sucky terrible.

I read through my old posts yesterday after I blogged. And I realised that my old blogging style was witty, sarcastic, humorous, self-deprecating and basically interesting. Ok maybe i'm giving myself too much credit here but even I myself was amused when I read through my ramblings. Maybe, just maybe I can find my old style back one day. Until then, all of you (on a side note I think I might be becoming schizophrenic because the only person who actually reads this is myself and I certainly do not constitute 'all of you' unless i am more than one person but that would be impossible unless I were schizophrenic in which case I'd be more than one person mentally but still only one person physically) will have to put up with this.

I watched Polo Boys and The Pupil just now. Polo Boys was um, um. Yeah I can't really describe it. I bet it's gonna be a happy ending with the team defeating their arch-rivals. The Pupil was slightly better. Witty. I like witty shows. Adrian Pang and Janice Koh are awesome. And it was good to see Vadi once more, even if it wasn't in person. He reminded me of J1 econs lessons which were fun.

Listening to 'Love Hurts' by Incubus now. I remember you told me once long long ago that it was your favourite song.

Phang & Mervin

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