That's Life

Well my head hurts. I really hope it's not because the wires in my head are tangling up and untangling themselves in a fashion that would not only prove unsightly but also detrimental to my mental health. It comes from having nothing to do. And we all know that an idle mind is the devil's workshop. Well not exactly in my case. My idle mind basically sends out welcoming signs to unwelcome things. I hope my resistance doesn't just crack and my mind doesn't get overwhelmed by the daily dose of unnecessary bombardation of nonsensical and illogical thoughts. And I really have to learn how to let go of thoughts; thoughts that don't matter, thoughts that are ridiculous and thoughts that are just plain energy-consuming. And I've got to stop beating myself up for things that've already happened; just because there's been a breach of the defences doesn't mean that I've got to reproach myself for it and batter it from the outside because that would just make things worse.

I suddenly remember a phrase that seems cliched but true. Ok I forgot the phrase. But the gist of it was that life is basically like this journey and that we gotta enjoy the ride. I haven't been enjoying it for the past few years and when I say I haven't been enjoying it, I mean that everything so far has been hazy and blurry and I don't really remember much about it. It's like my memory has been blurred out by things. And it's not a good feeling.

I've just got to remember to keep the big picture in mind, and the big picture involves not worrying about stupid and ridiculous thoughts.