That's Life

Here's some funny and amusing and (yes, helpful) stuff I read today. It's an article on what to do on the first date.

1. The Predate
• Dress for the occasion, but more important, dress to show respect. Reminder: It's still better to overdress.
• Easy on the cologne. Avoid novelty ties.

2. The Pickup
• Be on time. Do not be drunk.
• Go to the door.
• Do not bring flowers — it's outdated. You may, however, bring a small, thoughtful gift that you did not purchase from Wicks 'n' Sticks or B. Dalton Bookseller.
• Inappropriate gifts: lingerie, small animals, the first draft of your unpublished memoirs.

3. The Drive
• If you're taking a cab, you should open the door for her, give the directions, and pay.
• While amusing, avoid that bit where you go and then stop and pretend to drive away without her.
• No music — try talking.
• If you find the ensuing silence unbearable, you may put on music, but avoid the following: a) talk radio; b) anything in which R. Kelly describes something overtly sexual; c) playlists consisting entirely of songs that feature her name.

4. The Restaurant
• Open the door for her. In case of revolving doors, you go first.
• Wait until she's seated to take your seat. At fancier joints, it's the waiter's job to help her with her chair, not yours.
• Never order for her. And never present a coupon to the waiter while saying, "And the lady will have something of equal or lesser value."
• Sharing food: If she suggests it, you're doing it.
• Pay. If she offers to help, say something sincere like, "It's my pleasure," not something you think is witty, like, "I'll consider this a down payment for later, if you know what I mean!"

5. The Bar
• Open a tab.
• Never drink more than she does.
• Never drink less than she does.

6. The Walk
• Walk at her pace.
• Tradition dictates that you should walk on the outside of her to avoid puddle splashes and runaway carriages, but feel free to disregard this unless your date takes place in Colonial Williamsburg (not advised).
• Offer her your arm. It's chivalrous and also a good way to initiate contact.
• Be a man. Make your move. May God be with you.
• You're not going inside. Unless she suggests it.

7. Following Up
• No texting. Call the next day. Two days, tops.
• If she answers the phone, thank her for a great night and schedule a second date.
• If you get voice mail, thank her and ask her to call you back.
• If she answers the phone "Sam's Pizza" and pretends you've got the wrong number, all bets are off.

Well, what do you think girls. Personally I think the rules don't apply now because I highly doubt we're going to go to a fancypants restuarant and foot the bill which would probably be a foot long but well I guess we guys could draw some ideas from it.

Shit I'm totally getting addicted to Stop and Stare.