I think my blog has to be the most active among all my ex-classmates' blogs. Of course I only know those listed on the class directory; for those who make their blogs password-protected I have no idea.

Anyway I still have no job. Even Cheryl has found a job. So basically I'm whiling my time away.

And I need Chinese New Year clothes. I need to learn from my mother and just finish buying everything in half a day or something. I'm such a slow and undecisive shopper. And it wasn't like I had no money aha. For once, I was rather rich. Anyway guys it's best to go shopping with girls. Girls can provide creative and constructive comments. Like about how I shouldn't wear pastel colours ahaha. (By the way I do like pastel colours) But of course you gotta choose the right girl. She's got to be nice and sweet and helpful. Looks aren't necessary though. Haha ok kidding :]

And we still haven't gone to a club like we said we would damn it. Going to bars doesn't count.

I feel like an old man now. Today was the first time I had gone back to school since last year. And things have changed. The sheltered walkway from the Braddell bus stop to our school gate has been completed. A new stall (13) has opened. There is a new section of the canteen for the cleaners and workers.

But somehow it seems that things haven't changed a bit. I don't think I've ever felt the full extent of not ever going to school again until now. It's like a chapter of our life has closed.

Anyway today I went back today to just like talk to Grace Lee. Like just chat. Lol and also to apologize to her for what happened on her first day. Think most of you can remember what happened aha me shooting my mouth off (as usual) I think she was pleasantly surprised that I actually still remembered it. Anyway managed to rectify something wrong today so yeah. Turns out she was from St Nicks too aha. Speaking of which there appears to be quite a large number of J1 St Nicks' girls. Some of them were head-turners; others stomach-churners. Aha ok ok sorry shouldn't have been so evil. Anyway was kind of hoping to see Mr Kok too. He's a decent guy. And Vadi of course aha but I guess he's busy scripting his newest play.

Anyway after that I went to Chloe's house. With Lim Min, Cheryl, Tim and Xiuhuan. Mmm played quite a few unproductive rounds of mahjong. Luckily Tim brought 'Secret'. The show started off crappily (big surprise there). However, it was not half bad. Basically Jay Chou falls in love with this girl. The funny thing is that she is always absent from school. Then he discovers that she is actually from the past and she can time-teleport by playing a certain song on the piano in the clock tower. And he goes back to her just before the clock tower is destroyed to find her. 20 years back. So yeah. I seem to have a weakness for sappy love stories these days.

Anyway there's something going on at 39 Cashew Crescent. Every day I see RJ people going to that house. I feel like asking them but it would seem weird.

Thank goodness for dramas. Let me tell you about the 3 dramas I watch every weeknight.

1. Kinship 2
Basically it's about kinship. I know what you're thinking. No I don't think I deserve a prize for the revelation of the year. Anyway it's about one big family with plenty of domestic issues. Cue affairs, domestic squabbles, depression, wayward juveniles and the like. Provides perfect material for musing over dinner.

2. The Golden Road
Hoho Jieliang recommended this show to me. I tell you the tacky big gold letters 'huang jin lu' belie the exciting drama going on. I only started watching from the 25th episode so basically I have no damn idea what went on beforehand. However, due to the numerous flashbacks occuring during the show, it's about this group of siblings named Huang and another group called Jin. The mother adopted the Jins and yeah one big happy family when they were small. Then lol um Jin Feng, the younger sister died, apparently murdered by Huang Kaijie, who had slept with her and then killed her for some reason. The stupid son-of-a-bitch. She wasn't that bad-looking, save for a mole on her face. Anyway yeah now Jin Feng's big brother wants revenge so BANG BANG BANG. Oh yeah more VIOLENCE. It's really a good show. Don't worry Jieliang I'll upload a detailed analysis of the show when it ends.

3. Coffee Prince
This show takes the cake. Basically it's about this girl Gao Encan who pretends to be a guy in order to work at this shop selling coffee because the shop only employs males. Yeah she falls in love with the big boss but the big boss thinks that she's a guy. Anyway she reveals the truth and the boss is angry that he was deceived and yada yada. Cue sub-plot about this total BITCH who well has this view that her guy has to love her whole heartedly while she can flirt with other guys. So basically she's pissed when her guy falls for Gao Encan, albeit for a short while, and threatens to leave. But wait here's the catch. She's HOT. So yes it's understandable why the guy doesn't want to leave her. She's HOT. Yes, let's hear it once again. She's HOT. She's not the type to hump and dump. She's the type to hump and hump again. And again. Anyway this show was interesting at first but now it's becoming draggy.

Apparently more than one of my girl friends have self-esteem issues. But don't worry about it, ya'll just remember you're hot in your own way.

'If a man does his best, what else is there (to ask for)?' This quote from my tuition teacher's MSN nick got me thinking. Sure, we all hear things like 'just do your best and everything will be fine' and 'it's ok, just try your best'. Yet, it would be foolish to simply set 'our best' as our benchmark for whatever we do.

First and foremost, there is no way to simply define the term 'my best'. Take this for example. Saying 'I tried my best to do this project' might seem like a reasonable excuse for coming up with a model so bad a three-year old would have fared better. You could have sacrificed another hour of sleep to work on the project. And if you had done so, you could have sacrificed yet another hour. And so it goes on. Yes, it might be possible to argue that 'doing my best' involves making the optimum use of my resources (time, money, effort) under certain conditions. Yet no one is able to objectively determine in what way are your resources best allocated in a manner most beneficial and efficient to you. How many of you always feel that you could have done better even after spending a lot of effort on something. If you haven't raised your hand, you're either a liar or a person with expectations so low that an ant would be able to hurdle over.

Anyway, now that we've established that there is no way to objectively determine what is 'our best', (trust me your own belief that it is your best very often does not coincide with the views of those around you), it is more important to answer the question of what comes after doing 'your best'. Tough luck chump society is an unfeeling unsentimental uncaring system with fabric that's probably as cold as the infrastructure of those high-rise buildings in Shenton Way. See society doesn't condone 'your best'. Society condones 'his best or her best', where the 'his' and 'her' in question refer to the big shots above you in the corporate ladder whom you have a dying urge to push off but can't. Your boss ain't going to be weeping with tears when you submit your latest version of 'How To Acquire That son-of-a-bitch Company That's Poachinig Our Customers' with bloodshot eyes. No no the 'I did my best boss' template isn't going to tug at his heartstrings. It's going to tug at his vocal cards though and you can be sure of that when he sends you scooting back to your cubicle with his 'Redo this piece of crap' and the like derogatory statements ringing in your ears. 'Your best' counts for peanuts in the real world, and I'm talking about imaginary peanuts if 'your best' is not even good enough for you to poach a few dollars from someone else to purchase that bag of nuts.

What is my point, you may ask. Well my point is that the only place which condones 'i did my best' is probably in schools. Teachers, contrary to popular belief, aren't mercenary misers mooting for their next paycheck. I think some of them actually care about their studentes. Like how they give remedial classes to students who really tried their best but still failed and how they continue to encourage crestfallen children whose grades are all wet. (Below the C (sea) level, get it hahaha) Anyway I just want to thank all my teachers.

Happy Teacher's Day.

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF84pIhP5UM

I'm feeling bitter. Actually I had already started on this post before my brother switched the computer off with his big toe because he said he wanted to use it and I said wait and he decided not to. I was considering punching him but then again I'd probably have shattered a few bones (not mine) and well I decided to forget it.

I know I'm probably going to regret this but in the heat of the moment, I would like to believe that I have currently zero friends whom I can talk to. I mean seriously talk to about problems. Well I used to talk to Longkuan sometimes before he went in and occasionally Linus. My neighbours? Bryan is basically a walking talking entertainment machine and I'd have better luck persuading the RG principal to allow her school to form the ultimate Raffles triumvirate. Marvin? Maybe when he's in the mood. Marcus? Yeah he listens. For about five minutes before he zones off somewhere else but then again he's young.

Anyway now I'm basically bitter. Not emo mind you. No not angsty either. Simply bitter. See if I were emo I'd be locking myself up in the room spilling tears over my sad life. And if I were angsty I'd be screaming something like 'me against the world' which obviously would be a very stupid thing to do considering the fact that I wouldn't even stand a chance against my rufled neighbours when they call the police for 'disruption of serenity'. Ok I made that charge up.

Anyway basically I'm sick and tired of being treated as a clown. Well see I used to have this annoying habit of messaging random people whenever I was bored. Like to say 'Hey look I saw a hot chick on the train' or 'Hey I'm bored now'. Because come to think of it, how the fuck does it concern them. I highly believe that the immense lack of excitement present in my life at the point where I was texting them would haev thorougly depressed them and enabled them to empathise with me. See now I believe SMS is the root of my sorrows.

SMS, lest we forget, stands for short messaging service. Ok I'm not too sure about that but it probably does. And this means that it should be used to set appointments and stuff like that, not to randomly chat with people.

I've always held the belief that what matters is the ability to hold a decent conversation with somebody in REAL life, not via button-pressing. So screw that shit.

Anyway I know I'm probably going to regret saying what I'm going to say so I think I'd better apologize first.

Fuck off and go find someone else to entertain you.

My gum is hurting like crap. My wisdom tooth is erupting and it's pushing the gum out. So now I got a gum flap on the right side of my mouth. It's irritating the crap out of me and somehow the pain has spread to my throat and ears. I am in a very very very foul mood now.

It's times like this I wish I had more friends. Not just friends but good ones. I've just realised that all my friends, ok most of, my friends with whom I feel close enough to just give a call and ask them out are mostly in the army. i obviously need more female friends. Was just talking to ***** the other night (his name is censored to protect his identity) about my lack of female friends and my inability to communicate with them. Suprisingly, he said he felt the exact same way - like it's difficult to really hang out with female friends.

Anyway I've sort of changed my perception. Sometimes I think I'm close to people when I'm actually not. Haha but ok lah not say like we're super far apart. Close enough to talk but not really that close lah. So sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing asking people I'm not say super close to out but then again I guses it's the little things like these which bring people closer. Haha so the next time I ask you out don't reject me!

My hair's black and blonde now.

And that's the last of them.

Went to see my pals Longkuan and Linus off at Pasir Ris. Woke up at 9 and was kind of worried that I might be late. But luckily never. I'm kind of going to miss not seeing them. Yeah then went shopping with Benny.

Benny I tell you, is a retailer's nightmare come true. He spent 1 hour at Factory Outlet Store in Dhobby. Even I was sick of the damn place, not to mention the people working there. Yeah and I was damn tired. 4 days out of 5 spent in town. Anyway luckily he bought the tees he wanted.

Then we went Vivo. Holy smoly then I saw this group of Saints chicks. There was this girl that was ohmygoshshessodamnpretty. Yeah like perfecttttt figure. Anyway Benny didn't agree with me and thought she was fat. Apparently he goes for skinny chicks. Lol. Anyway there isn't much shit to buy in Vivo. It's all upmarket stuff. Heh.

The job search is pissing the hell out of me. I think my temper is getting from volatile to explosive. Luckily I always manage to reign it in otherwise I can assure you the number of friends I have would drop by half. Anyway today I picked up the Classfied Ads today and started flipping through for a job.

Anyway basically I got quite pissed off since the FIRST JOB I CALLED UP, ok the second, turned out to be the con job where I told the pushy idiot to hump off. Ok it's not really hump but it's a synonym. Anyway can you believe my luck.

So yeah I called up Recruit Express this job agency and they told me to go down tomorrow at 2 pm. In town again. Fantastic.

And I'm turning into a snappy sarcastic sonofagun. I have stronger urges to dismember people who piss me off. Just that I hold it in a lot. Got to find a way to neutralize the potential explosives in me.

My mood has just changed from low to downright depressed. Most of the guys are going in soon, the first batch starting from tomorrow. Sigh that just leaves the girls. And ok lah I do have female friends but it's different. As in ok so it's easier to talk to girls on MSN but the truth is, I think guys and girls are way too different to be good friends. Like ok show me a girl who likes violence, humour, insults and babes and I'll show you a guy in a girl's disguise.

Anyway yeah so in 1 week's time, I'll have no one to sit down and drink coffee with, no one to go oustide and eat and laugh at the random chick across the aisle and no one to pool with. Ok so I'll still have but the numbers will be drasticially reduced. I just can't see any female friends doing the above with me. And besides, I don't think the essence of um like buddy-friendship can easily be replicated. Like it's just not the same when you're laughing at some fool doing some jackass thing or perving at the same hot babe (ok so the babes I usually perv at are different from my homies but you get the idea) with your female friends.

And I just read today's front page newspapers. That made me feel even more depressed. And now I'm listening to Jacky Cheung's 'xin ru dao ge'.

Sometimes I wish I were less emo.

Anyway I need a job. Just escaped from the clutches of some malevolent con job masters a while back. Anyone with ideas please tell me thanks.

Hmm I have an hour to kill before meeting Benny. I mean eating lunch then meeting Benny. Anyway I miss GP lessons. No more interactive talktimes with Grace. Grace Lee. Mrs Grace Lee.

Hmmm I was thinking about a topic that was highlighted in the Straits Times a while back. I suppose you guys know about Ladies' Night in clubs. Every Wednesday, women get free admission to clubs while the men have to pay. Yet, many women are complaining that the bouncers are rejecting them free entry for various reasons, most of them centering about their appaling appearance. Hmm then yeah as usual being the whiny shitheads they start whining to the Straits Times forum about how females are badly treated. In my opinion I believe that they might have a case. Wow.

First and foremost, we have to examine the rationale for Ladies' Night. Well the free admission part is to draw chicks into clubs. So well naturally once the prey is inside the wolves (coloured ones) will follow. And that means more revenue for the clubs. Going by economic terms, it would seem only natural to deny entry to women whom the bouncers deem unattractive and hence unable to provide enough allure to draw in the hunting crowd. If that is the case, the club would actually be making a loss by letting them in for free. So from this standpoint, the clubs would be protecting their own self-interests.

Yet, from another point of view, the women have a right to complain. Unless the club specifically says 'Ladies' Night - free entry for those below 30; entry subjected to bouncers', women of all ages and appearances should be allowed in. Refusal to do so would be a clear insult to their status as females. Of course, if clubs do post such damning signs outside their um clubs, then there would understandably be more outrage among individuals who do not fit into their category yet feel that their right to enter should not be denied. But then again that's their damn opinion and they can't argue against black and white.

Shucks ok screw the above topic it's getting seriously boring. I think my brain is degenerating bit by bit. The neurons are slowly dying one by one and I'm in no condition to be my usual witty and humourous self.

Tata.

Third post in 3 hours. I must really be bored. I'm feeling mildy upset now. Ok not really midly. Haha quite upset but oh well. Not a good feeling I can assure you. :/

In view of the huge number of takers of the 17D/16N Pulau Tekong Delight package, I suddenly feel emo. Like about how school has ended and I have nothing to do. So I present 'Percy Phang's Perspectives'. It's about RJ by the way.

If I could change things throughout the 2 years, I definitely would. To say that the 2 years were very enjoyable would be incorrect but perhaps memorable would be a better word. I'm still feeling very very very pissed off for skipping the second trial. Especially when it was because of bruised ego. And I knew I could have got it. Oh yeah I would definitely have studied organic chem much harder. It wasn't organic chem that killed me it was basically my own laziness. And I should have kept my mouth shut about her.

Hmmm I still remember walking into RJ for the first time in 2006. My OGL hadn't called me, actually she did but I was out, I was totally lost and believe it or not I was very apprehensive about meeting girls. I mean let's face it RI didn't exactly provide me many opportunites to meet girls and well RINCC gave us this stupid stereotype of RJ girls as primeval, grunting cavewomen who could shout louder and stronger than us weaklings masquerading as defenders of our nations. Anyway yeah well I didn't think the girls in my OG were great but well I was desperate, seeing as how I had just escaped from the testosterone-mushed institution from next door. Haha yes I was young and desperate. BUT my OGL was hot. Haha I still think she is. Gabrielle from tennis. Hmm apparently her nickname was Biceps but I think she should be called Babe haha. Braces and thunder thighhhhhhs.

Anyway then I went to S03G. Truth was, I am not a Science person. Ok I guess I can study science if I put my heart to it but truth was the Bio was killer. The Chem was pretty bad too. Heh and I didn't really like many of my classmates. Plus the class was segragated. Still is I believe. Heh then I switached to LHME. Went to A01E - Arts Junkyard, according to Chongzhi. Well stayed there for a day before becoming far too insecure about dropping both sciences for arts subjects so I went to S07A, taking LCME. Well I don't think any of you know this but I didn't like Vadi at first. Haha strange eh being pretty pally with him for the rest of 2006. Bet you couldn't tell. But then I think he sort of saw a bit of himself in me. A bit of a maverick. Scraped through promos. I told myself I would study harder heh but well you know what happens with this kind of promises.

Anyway 2007 rolled around. And in a flash yeah the workload started to get heavier. And well I started talking to more of my classmates. In 2006 I only talked to Linus and Longkuan. In 2007 started talking to more people like Lim Min, Crunch, Cheryl, Chloe, Jie Liang. Well maybe beacuse they sat behind me. I still remember my good old seat, nearest to the door. Heh. I still remember Monday's timetable of Econs, Lit, Maths lec and Lit. I remember the bell ringing at 1230 sharp and Puay Miao exiting the room and me feeling kind of lonely in class despite the chirping chatter all around me. Sometimes we went out to J8 for lunch but the feeling wasn't there. Truth is, I didn't feel close to all of them at all at the start of the year. Ok lah I guess I got closer as the year went on but I still couldn't help sensing that there was a great divide. And yes I was a total jerk to most of the girls in class and yes I also knew that many of you disliked me but to be honest I wasn't really bothered. You win some you lose some. Plus there are always repercussions of playing the clown.

Heh then I started to sort of dread knowing the date, knowing that with each day the great tests were slowly approaching. I could have done so much better, prepared so much more and been more confident. I can't help feeling that I've sort of let down Mr Kok, whom I really owe a big thanks for scheduling all those revision lessons and consultations for me and Longkuan. Well I think I did improve after that but I could have done a whole lot more. I could have done my tutorials on time.

Ok emo time over. Hmm I hope this time things work out.

Well I was thinking of going to the beach tomorrow. And asking my classmates. So I messaged 8 of them. And got 3 replies back. Is it so difficult to reply a yes or a no. Aish.

Many of my friends will be gone by the 11th. It's kind of sad. My company will be drastically reduced. By the 9th, many of them will no longer be with us. They'll be in Tekong. Great huh.

Shucks haha I've just realized that my life is kinda like quiet. Not like clubbers who go clubbing every other day and get themselves pissed drunk. Marvin's been asking us to go clubbing with him. Well problem is Bryan's underage and it's quite jacked up for me and him to go alone. Sian. And we both don't have house keys so what are we going to do sleep on the streets. Shucks personally I don't really think clubbing is cool since I got the impression that it's just to pick up chicks and get yourself drunk. The latter I can easily accomplish at home or around my chummies' houses and well, I don't really see a need for the former now.

But still, hearing accounts of like partying the night away stil kind of puzzles me a bit. Maybe I'll try it out one day. The guys are going in soon. Shuckarooney. That means like 2/3 of my company will be gone. That isn't good sigh.

Plus I still need a job!

Hmm before today I used to think that the beach sucked. After today, I still think that the beach sucks, though not as much. And just for the record I just realised all of Kimwee's friends know me as Percy, not Phang. Stupid asshole interjects everytime they ask me for my name. Lol.

Ok lah at least the girls were pretty hot. Um ok I won't elaborate anymore. See, I'm learning! Haha am I improving tell me I am. Haha oh my gosh tanlines on chicks are sooo fucking hot. Ok ok ok sorry. Promise to stop it haha.

Anyway well I managed to avoid getting my ass thrown into the sea for quite some time. Sunscreen lotion made me slippery haha so they COULDN'T CATCH ME. Well anyway in the end I got tired of running and so I um sort of jumped in myself. And trust me when you taste seawater you're never going to complain about that all-too-salty-kailan dish again. And well I think I put too much suntan lotion. After spending the whole day in the sun I'm not even tanner. I'm just a little bit sunburnt.

And guess who I saw at the beach. The entire J1 contingent. Apparently they had to go to Sentosa for their orientation. Like 1000 J1s. And I didn't know any of them.

Anyway now my denim berms are wet. And soaking. I never knew it but wet denims are damn cool. But well disgusting to wash.

Ok guys clap for Mervin Ang please. Um it's all thanks to him that we have a new comic strip and a new quote of the decade and a new song! Yay. Um shit ass man I got 3 months left to find a girlfriend.

Wow whee post explosion. Oh yeah we're going to change the template. Actually Mervin's going to change the template and I'm going to pretend I helped haha ok kidding. Anyway been listening to retro old songs. Now the latest one is 'Something Stupid'.

I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: "I love you"

I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true
It never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late
And I'm alone with you

The time is right your perfume fills my head, the stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: "I love you"

Cool stuff eh.

Ok yes I know it's 11 oclock but wow I'm awake. And unlike certain individuals whose names I won't mention, my blog posts are more active than my tagboard. Ahahaha yes you with the black template all around I'm talking about you.

And shit ass I thought I'd kill time by going online NOT KNOWING THAT SPONGEBOB IS ON NOW UNTIL MEL TOLD ME. I'VE WASTED THE WHOLE HALF HOUR AWAY NOOOO. Anyway it's ok pokemon is on next so I will go down once I've finished blogging.

Anyway I was just bloghopping and I realized that someone else has the same meme I just did. The stupid 3 things one. :/ Damn it. Anyawy uh I've also found another blog which is quite um, one-tracked since all the entries are talking about dressing like a minah. Like seirously 10 entries devoted to it. Girl oh girl.

Lol I think vodka doesn't go well with any damn thing besides fruit juice. The stupid gin tonic concoction I had was um drinkable, to say the best.

I need to buy new clothes. MORE NEW CLOTHES. Shit ass man I seriously need to kai yuan jie liu and stop spending money like luo hua lui shui. Yes I know the second cheng yu has been used wrongly but I just wanted to go with the theme of water. But then again I can't really go out because I busted my leg. The way I did it was brilliant. I was walking up the steps and tripped. Being superman, I felt if I was going to fall I thought I'd better fall on flat ground so I jumped while tripping. Ok I know it sounds weird but try to imagine. Then well hey I cleared 2 steps. Which is decent. Try clearing 2 steps when you're falling down. And um I landed on my sole on half the ground step. Which meant that all my body weight landed on that part. And it hurts.

Phang & Mervin

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