That's Life

More and more teenagers are turning to Hokkien when it comes to swearing. Apparently there are a whole host of reasons.

As one dumb jackass put it, 'If we swear at Americans in Hokkien, they won't be able to understand'. Well dumbass remind me to swear at you in Swahili the next time while grinning like an idiot because you won't be able to understand me and think that I'm praising your looks, which are in fact as desirable as the latest attraction in 'Freakshow 101'. What is the stupid point of swearing at someone if HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING. See it just goes to show you that you're a wimpy piece of crap hiding under the cover of language.

Anyway lol another reason cited was that Hokkien allows one to express the meaning of the vulgarities in other ways. Such as how saying you 'CCB' isn't the same as calling you a smelly cnt. Lol honestly it'd be quite weird to call you a smelly cnt because it would mean that you havent been washing the area for a long time or you've contracted syphilis hence the stench. But anyway, my point is that one can curse as well in English. I mean face it you don't want to be smiling to a Caucasian and saying something like 'diu lei lou mou' because firstly, he wouldn't understand it and secondly, it might actually come true given the liberal attitude of our Western counterparts and trust me you don't want to be having sexytime with a 50 year old hooker. No you want to be saying something like 'Look here matey, stop being a silly old prick or I'll sock you in the face'. See you gotta acclimatise youreslf to the situation man. And no you don't say the same thing to a China guy because he'll think you're going to give him a piece of cloth that's been worn over your foot. And no you don't say that an American either because well we are all too familiar with Mankind's Mr Socko from all those years of WWE watching.

Anyway, my point is that I have a few minutes to kill before my neighbour gets his frickin barbecue pit ready and I'm feeling pissed off. And it's stupid to swear in Hokkien. Alone. One must always have an extensive vocabulary because you never know when ya goin ta meet a stupid black rapper or a matey from down under or a backward long de chuan ren and well, it always helps to have sophisticated vocabulary. Talk about class when ya talking to the dawg with all the bling bling and instead of going yo yo son-of-a-bitch you go something like 'In my esteemed opinion I proclaim you a disgrace to the human race for you are clearly a negative example when it comes to Darwin's theory of evolution, for you possess a dispostion so primitive and repulsive that it would make chipmunks (remember the stupid M1 advert about how chipmunks owned that dumbass scientist) seem like rocket scientists'.

Shit man I'm totally blabbering on and on. I need a FRICKIN job.