That's Life

Yes I'm still waiting for the bbq to start so now I shall do another stupid meme. Well actually just a meme not another meme because I didn't do one just now.

Basically it's the name 3 things thing.

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU
Pervert
Percy
Phang

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 3 HOURS:
Football
Watched TV
Blogged

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
Ace Organic Chemistry.
Perform stepovers better than Robinho
Have sexytime. No not with any of you who read this shit. Haha.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
Football
Shopping
Sexytime. Again not with any of you who read this shit.

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
A new bicycle with suspension
New Nike Tiempos (first grade)
Compliments.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE ITEMS:
All my footwear in my cupboard
My Pokemon card collection.
Um my friends.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
How about your bed.

THREE GIRLS' NAMES:
Um I know a ton of girls so I think I'll change this to HOT GIRLS' NAMES. And yes it's left blank for a reason haha.

THREE GUYS' NAMES
Ranjani Rajandran
Yanjin (yes I know you read this shit hahaha)
Cheryl Li

THREE FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS
2,4-dinitrophenylhyrdazine.
Pikachu
Danny Phantom

THREE MALLS YOU USUALLY GO TO:
Bukit Panjang Plaza
Bukit Timah Plaza
Beauty World Shopping Centre

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FASTFOOD:
Burger King
Macs' Chicken Foldover
Hokkien Mee from Stall 3

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
Vodka
Teh Ping
Teh

THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR [HAND]BAG:
Umbrella
Water Bottle
Of course we can't forget the bomb

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
Gold
Silver
Maroon

More and more teenagers are turning to Hokkien when it comes to swearing. Apparently there are a whole host of reasons.

As one dumb jackass put it, 'If we swear at Americans in Hokkien, they won't be able to understand'. Well dumbass remind me to swear at you in Swahili the next time while grinning like an idiot because you won't be able to understand me and think that I'm praising your looks, which are in fact as desirable as the latest attraction in 'Freakshow 101'. What is the stupid point of swearing at someone if HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING. See it just goes to show you that you're a wimpy piece of crap hiding under the cover of language.

Anyway lol another reason cited was that Hokkien allows one to express the meaning of the vulgarities in other ways. Such as how saying you 'CCB' isn't the same as calling you a smelly cnt. Lol honestly it'd be quite weird to call you a smelly cnt because it would mean that you havent been washing the area for a long time or you've contracted syphilis hence the stench. But anyway, my point is that one can curse as well in English. I mean face it you don't want to be smiling to a Caucasian and saying something like 'diu lei lou mou' because firstly, he wouldn't understand it and secondly, it might actually come true given the liberal attitude of our Western counterparts and trust me you don't want to be having sexytime with a 50 year old hooker. No you want to be saying something like 'Look here matey, stop being a silly old prick or I'll sock you in the face'. See you gotta acclimatise youreslf to the situation man. And no you don't say the same thing to a China guy because he'll think you're going to give him a piece of cloth that's been worn over your foot. And no you don't say that an American either because well we are all too familiar with Mankind's Mr Socko from all those years of WWE watching.

Anyway, my point is that I have a few minutes to kill before my neighbour gets his frickin barbecue pit ready and I'm feeling pissed off. And it's stupid to swear in Hokkien. Alone. One must always have an extensive vocabulary because you never know when ya goin ta meet a stupid black rapper or a matey from down under or a backward long de chuan ren and well, it always helps to have sophisticated vocabulary. Talk about class when ya talking to the dawg with all the bling bling and instead of going yo yo son-of-a-bitch you go something like 'In my esteemed opinion I proclaim you a disgrace to the human race for you are clearly a negative example when it comes to Darwin's theory of evolution, for you possess a dispostion so primitive and repulsive that it would make chipmunks (remember the stupid M1 advert about how chipmunks owned that dumbass scientist) seem like rocket scientists'.

Shit man I'm totally blabbering on and on. I need a FRICKIN job.

Today went fishing. And yeah man we caught 3 crabs in 3 hours. Lol ok actually Benny and Shenglin caught 3 crabs in 3 hours. Talk abotu great luck. And no luck finding babes in bikinis by the beach. Lol bloody hell Pasir Ris beach. Anyway well I was 2 hours late. And it started RAINING. WHAT THE HELL. Anyway went Zara after that because Chew Zhaoying wanted to repair his Zara pants. And the smartass brought the wrong pair of pants.

Lol someone's wearing lace panties already ah. Hahaha by the way they look ugly. Lol.

LOL I am pissed today. Ok some of you know why but I can't be bothered to explain again. Anyway YJ, the reason why the stupid quote hasn't been changed is because Mervin and I are lazy people and besides I don't know enough html to change it.

Lol more footballing jokes. 'Barton behind bars'. Don't you love soccernet's amazing alliteration axtremes. Ok the last word was stupid. Anyway lol Roque Santa Cruz has to be the man. That bugger scored a hat-trick against Wigan and ended up on the losing side. Then he scored a brace against Arsenal and Blackburn still lost. Then he scored against Man City and they nearly lost lol but he scored the equaliser. So he has scored 7 goals in the past month. That's ridiculous.

'Sexuality is all fluid. Go with the flow.'

I haven't slept at home in 3 days already. Spent 24th at Mervin's house, 25th at Marcus' house and last night at Bryan's house. LOL. Sigh my own bed is starting to feel foreign to me. Anyway I just finished playing football with the guys and a bunch of little kids. And boy did I get my ass whooped. LOL. That was not part of the plan (getting my ass whooped and playing with the kids) Anyway lol the little kid in 19A has more tenacity and determination in his tackles than me! Shit ass man lol oh yeah I had to mention that the lousier I played the more amused I got. Lol in fact I played so lousily that I started laughing at myself.

Anyway lol spent yesterday at Daphne's house. I was late (big surprise) by 1 hour. Lol and boy is her house BIG. Haha shit but I forgot to check out her Dalmatians. Anyway shit LOL Longkuan got pretty drunk. Well I was sort of tipsy too and that didn't prove too good an attribute to have when we were playing mahjong because i kept seeing up the wrong tiles. But the sherbet thingy was GOOD. Haha shit I would have drunk more if I hadn't eaten so much. I ate like 3 bowls of plain pasta and drank like 10 cups of the alcoholic thingies. Lol. And watched some jacked up Thai movie called Alone which I thought was stupid at first but then realised that it wasn't that bad.

Anyway yeah got babes booze and uh well nothing else. Only books were missing. Who am I kidding.

I have almost zero Christmas presents. Well I got 3 from my aunts and that's it. End of story. And no Christmas cards. Anyway stayed over at Mervin Ang's house yesterday with Suang and Leonard. Well we were supposed to have barbecue. Note the word supposed lol ok lah I guess we were all noobs (ok we being me and Suang and Leonard) so welll all the stuff turned out crappy. In the end Mervin's sister's friends barbecued everything. And well they served us. It's the alpha male thing hahaha. But anyway no we didn't eat the stuff they cooked anyway because the other 3 found it not nice and I didn't think it was cooked. Anyway well we were supposed to play mahjong through the night. Once again note the word supposed. Well it was 1 when Mervin and Suang started to feel tired. BUT NO SINCE WE HAD NOT ENOUGH PLAYERS CANNOT SLEEP. Lol anyway by 2:30 they finally succumbed to the z monster. And they had the 3 mattresses and I had a blanket to sleep on. But oh yah lol we had an invitation to play 'murderer' with his sis' friends. Well since I thought we would be playing for keeps with their killer looks, I thought it was better to err on the side of caution so we politely, ok not very politely, rejected the request.

Anyway that was Christmas Eve.

LOL now let me continue making fun of surveys or quizzes I found online. Basically this survey is about your response to questions your ex might ask you.

For the sake of clarity let us assume that my ex dumped me. And let us assume that I don't like my ex anymore.

Can I win you back?
Depends. If you look like ..... probably.

I am very much happy with you back then..
Well firstly your question is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'I was very happy with you back then'. (The word 'much' is pretty much pointless since the word 'very' brings across the idea of excess well enough) Anyway then why the heck did you dump me.

I still love you...
Awww.

When did we last talk?
We just did. I mean you're asking me this stupid question now.

Can you go with me?
If we're meeting your hottie cheerleader friends sure thing.

Hey, can i give you/ask for a ride?
You sure can ask me for a ride. If you look like a smashing Indian/Chinese/Eurasian mix I'll definitely ride you.

Were you able to move on when I have not?
Not really. I was trapped in the wallows of self-despair and disdained love for a whole eternity, wondering why the love of my life chose to abandon me into the lower reaches of the earth until I realized you weren't the loev of my life.

I regret losing you.
Can't think of anything to say to this. The best thing to do would be to shut up.

I cannot keep my promise to you..
I think it should be 'I could not keep my promise to you' since well now that we're through you shouldn't have any promises to keep to me unless you count the ten million gifts I gave you when we were dating.

My parents do not like you.
That's IMPOSSIBLE!

My friends says we don't look good together.
I think it's because you don't look good but hey I was all right with that so why did you feel inferior just because of your friends' comments.

You have changed..
So have you and it's not for the better.

Jaja.

Santa Claus is coming to town soon. Hoho 4 more days till the jingle bells ring. Now isn't it lovely. Well not exactly since I'm suffering from FIFA08-deprivation since my homies are in Japan now and I can't play their Xbox 360. But anyway went to town today. Supposed to meet at 1 but i reached town at 2.

Thus, I left Cheryl and Linus together for 1 hour. Waiting for me. Being apologetic, I asked them if they would like me to treat them to lunch (actually it was a rhetorical question since I expected them to say no out of politeness and forgive me for my tardiness) but Cheryl actually took up my offer. So well being a man of my word I had to pay for her. Linus, fortunately, had more backbone and declined. Lol but he was being a nice guy anyway and sparing a thought for my wallet. But then again the guy spent 8 bucks eating some whopper of a whopper meal. Hoho punny eh. Anyway, back to the story. Yeah then Chloe arrived. Then Lim Min arrived. The end, you might think. But no, it's never a good story when we skip the middle part.

So, uh we went to find stuff to buy for people's Christmas presents. Well having 5 people shop for different things isn't a good idea. And it just showed. With us having a low payback rate to our efforts.

OH MAN LILY ALLEN IS FUCKING FUCKING FUCKIMG HOT. She oozes 'fuck' appeal. Anyway uh that might be attributed to the fact that she looks like classy british chick who moonlights as a whore and sniffs crack for the kick of it. But anyway her accent is damn cool and her songs are basically WHACKO. Like seriously whacko-nuts-out-of-this-world. But she's hot as hell. Crap man she totally switched around my ang-mohs-are-simply-pretty-but-boring attitude. Sorry Chloe.

So far I love every one of her songs. They just keep getting better and better. I thought 'Smile' was good, 'Alfie' was better and 'Knock Em Out' seriously the funniest piece of musical medley ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEkglpOTVCw Go see this. The pictures are hot but look out for the music it really owns. Girls you could all use these lines to reject pick-up lines.

Anyway shit man she's the hottest woman on this planet now! And she's actually a Brit chick!

Whenever you smile, it's like a rainbow appears.

Gosh, you're so pretty.

Argh I'm bored. Now I'm listening to Alicia Key's 'No One' which surprisingly sounds good. And Alicia Keys actually looks half-hot. Strange. She's crazy. She has this tiff with her old man and when interviewed about how she gets on with life, she said something about eliminating the obstacles/ people in life who want to get you down. No prizes for guessing who she's talking about. Anyway after watching MTV for so many days, I've come to the conclusion that MTV is absolutely quite trashy. In fact most of the cable channels are trashy. See because the advertisments suck. What's important about a channel is its advertisements. Mediacorp's channels actually have good advertisments which are downright stupid but entertaining.

Ok I've also realized that Timbaland is one heck of a producer. He dips his hand into EVERY DAMN THING. He's like music producer, rapper and all the other shit. See he's like in so many of Nelly Furtardo's songs and he discovered One Republic or something. LOL and some people on youtube said that Colbie Caillat's Bubbly is a song about climaxing. Which I found very funny. Some shit about tinglies in a silly place. Hahaha ok and she looks pretty hot to boot so yeah it's a good country song.

Now uh I would just like to clarify that the last post wasn't about somebody. It was just a random flash of inspiration so quit bugging me about who I'm referring to.

I must ardently declare the violence of my affection to you. No, it will not do anymore. It is this storm of infatuation brewing in my heart causing me untold turmoil. Yet your flawless smile can calm even the strongest of tempests and the men of Cyprus shall throw themselves at your feet.

Lol I think I'm crazy.

Mervin is going to Japan on Monday

Let me now post a downright retarded comment here and laugh at it.

Sng Ren Zheng added this Comment
3:15am

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

As you can see, this jackass is a male. Which is downright ridiculous because he is talking about how a female feels. There could be a few possible scenarios. He might be a female in disugise or perhaps had some female explain this shit to him. Neither of these two scenarios look probable, so I conclude he is being a jackass.

Now let me laugh at the statements I find downright stupid. 'Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. ' Girls, if a guy calls you beautiful but not hot, it's obvious you have as much sex appeal as a dried worm. A dried worm is beautiful (to the science geek) but not hot to anyone. So obviously if a guy says this he means you're going to be his girlfriend but he's going to cheat on you because you suck.

'who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.' When a guy does this, it's probably because he wants to rape her. I mean, the best time to do it is when she's asleep so she can't struggle. See it sounds romantic but NOW YOU ALL KNOW THE RATIONALE BEHIND IT.

'Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. ' If a guy does this it's obvious you are as precious to him as his Transformers action figure lol because you sure as hell will capture attention. Imagine all his buddies laughing their asses off at the sight of you in some purple leotard. On the other hand, sweaty girls are hot. Ok I know I'm weird.

'When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.' LOL THIS ONE TAKES THE DAMN CAKE. IT'S SO STUPID, IT'S NOT EVEN STUPID ANYMORE.

Ok that's all folks. Oh yeah I forgot to mention it but I think all the girls in our class looked pretty decent during prom. Some even looked hot. Gasp.

Back. Lol now I got about a few prom pics? All of which most certainly do not flatter me. I look like a retard in all of them probably because can see my Adam's apple in all of them. Must be the stupid lighting. Or the photographer. The only decent prom pic (note the use of the word decent) is the one where I was doing something stupid with Yanjin.

Anyway been playing Pokemon again. Almost forgot the joys of playing Pokemon and starting on new journeys with my buddies.

Prom is over. Lol prom was quite a let down. Ok lah I guess I just looked like crap. Well from what I heard people spend a few hours dressing up. I dressed up in like 10 minutes and screwed up my hair with a mix of clay and mud. Plus THERE WERE NO CONTACTS. So I ended up looking like crap in ALL MY PHOTOS. I'm damn sure of it. Lol nope nowhere near decent. I think I look like a drug addict in all my photos. Which happen to be in other people's cameras since I didn't bring.

Anyway yeah it was all over at 12. So went to Chjimes for a drink with some people from my table. In the end uh LK ordered beer and I ordered some vodka mix thing while the others ordered some non-alcholic drinks. What the hell lah. I was most displeased with the price. 15 dollars for a measly cup of what 200 ml?

Anyway the worst was yet to be. At 1 plus, I decided to go find YJ and the guys. And they were at Clarke Quay which was BLOODY FAR FROM CHJIMES. So I walked and walked and walked until I reached the Singapore River and couldn't find them. Yes so basically I ended up cabbing to Dominic's house at some street which I can't even remember now. Reached there at 2 plus. Was again very displeased because by that time I had already spent 30 plus cabbing that day. But well yes shit happens. Basically wasted the whole damn night away and went to eat prata at some weird hour, 5 am? I was the only idiot not to have brought any clothes to change into so basically I was sweating like a pig. Anyway yes then woke up and wasted the day away again before ordering some pizza. Then cabbed home. So yes I have wasted hell lot of money.

The doctor says my lungs might have torn. Well a small tear, not a large hole. Which kind of explains why I am more or less well physically inhibited.