That's Life

Ok this is going to be a damning, condescending and derogatory post. Yeah so if you don't want to read it don't.

You know there's a saying that good friends are like brothers, at least for the guys anyway. Yeah, we're supposed to be able to share everything, from clothes to food to drinks and all that. I guess technically speaking it's nobody's fault. I mean, I can't exactly fault him since the agent was partially-free. But still it hurts. Badly. It's one thing when something like that happens. It's another when one of your best buddies is involved.

I used to think that the bunch of us were the neighbourhood ah bengs. Yeah you know the gang shit, students by day, brothers by night. I honestly thought that was true. Hanging out with the neighbourhood guys kind of made me understand the meaning of the word friend. Like how we're expected to go through lot of shit together be it like sharing stuff going out or even getting owned by other people. To say the truth, I think I wouldn't have minded sticking up for any of them, even if they were in a fight. But of course, that might have been just stupid thinking on my part.

See, there are 6 of us. Me, B, M, M, W and W. I'm closer to B, M and M but yeah I'
m cool with the other 2 too. Anyway I still remember a conversation I had with M one day. We talked a lot of shit yeah but I think after that day, I respected him a lot because there was one thing he said he would do that I couldn't. But even though I couldn't do it, I was prepared to at least take one step back each and slug it out face-to-face with my pal. I definitely wouldn't have done anything behind my friend's back because I think it's pretty despicable to do so.

Yeah anyway it hurts a lot when shit like that happens. I guess it's partly my own fault for expecting too much and perhaps taking shit too seriously but then again I don't think I'll ever see my pal in the same light again. Because it sucks. Real bad. You fu tong xiang, you nan tong dang? More like you fu tong xiang, you nan wo pao. Weal and woe? I'm not even talking about chivalry, I'm talking plain old modern day friendship. I don't think it's really too much to ask for a friend not to do anything that might hurt you behind your back. I guess the saying is true then, that you can only see the mark of a real friend in times of crisis. Yeah like the time when two of us went cycling and we got lost and all. Even though you were quite a bitch and an asshole we still made it out of there together and I guess for that I respect you. In case you haven't realised, the 'you' I'm referring to isn't the same person.

One of my good friends has said that it's not that she doesn't trust people but she's been through shit before. I guess I can't really fault her for putting up a strong shield and barrier between her inner self and the surroundings now that I know what she's been through.

Yeah so now I feel like total shit and I'm trying to find someone to talk to but no one's available. But whatever, maybe there is some good in Gan's usual ramblings. At the end of the day, it's not going to be your friends covering your back when you're in deep shit but your family. Of coures, there are certain exceptions, especially if you really can find a really really good friend then is willing to literally take two knife-shots in the abdomen to save your ass. Then I must say that you're quite a rich person because your commodity is something which even money can't buy.

I really miss the time back in lower primary when we were all small innocent kids who only cared about playing and having fun. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

I'm not really angry or furious at you. More disappointed. That our friendship means so little.

So screw you bitch.