Emo chinese songs. Lol maybe I shouldn't keep listening to emo chinese songs. Jay Chou owns big time. Lol his emo songs are quite countless. I really don't like English songs. Ok not say don't like but I prefer Chinese songs probably because I grew up listening to them. Anyway too many people listen to music from the West - ang moh pai who jiak kan tang everyday chong yang mei wai never appreciate own language. Ok I realize that I am speaking like a total beng here so I will attempt to correct my diction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy-N319L3OY Jay Chou's song titled xin yu or heart rain. That was a very bad literal translation but hey the song is nice. Linus you should listen to emo chinese songs. Then can become even more emo than the emo kids at Peninsula Plaza.

Campus Superstar is OVER! NOOOOO! NO MORE ENTERTAINMENT ON MONDAY NIGHTS. THe sec 1 guy from Loyang won. Undeservedly I might add. Why oh why did so many people vote for him. Please enlighten me. I think even aunties have limited financial resources. So there is a high demand for him but even I didn't reckon that that want was backed by an ability to pay (60 cents for each call). I think the only person who probably has the slightest idea what I am talking about might be Jieliang because I don't think anyone else follows this. Linus listens to English, Lim Min Jap, Longkuan Scottish, Gaelic and Cheryl Korean? Who listens to Chinese songs these days? Few and far between I tell you. Enough with the hip-hop rap-bad indistinguishable music brotha and listen to some real melodieS.

Anyway now there's no more Campus Superstar. Why oh why oh why? And why does Ch 8 not produce any more really good dramas anymore. I mean the last movie I remembered was The Unbeatables and that was at least 10 years ago. The one about gambling and Coral Island. Anyway don't you think that it's ridiculous that Shawn won the damn competition. He is a good singer but definitely not the best and hey he screwed up. Lol the girls were better I guess. Got Kelly (whom most guys think is hot/pretty/chio) and Zhengning (the RG modern dancer whom all the girls like to bitch about but whom I think is HOT). Ok lah maybe they couldn't really sing fantastically well but hey decent stage presence. They look decent on screen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_-yLDcqGoA&mode=related&search= Beng song. Lol IT'S DAMM BENG SERIOUSLY THE WAY HE SINGS IT AND THE DANCE MOVES. LOL SERIOUSLY THE LYRICS PRACTICALLY RESONATE BENGNESS. But the front part dance is cool. Damn I need to get Benny to teach me some moves.

That's it. School's over. Like forever and ever and ever. We're never ever going back to the academic institutions of intelletual rigour ever again. Well uh not for another 2 years, for the guys at least. AWWWWWWWW.

2 years just zoomed off in a flash and now school's more or less officially over. We're never going to get another day of tutorials and lectures and all that shit anymore. Kind of sad really. I've only been with 07s07a for like 1.5 years, coz I went in after second intake. Awwww.

Now let's take a trip down memory lane.

Ok now that we're done with that, let's get on to the real purpose of this post. Which happens to be reminiscing the good old days where we all just had to study. I bet you're thinking that that was supposed to be the walk down memory lane. Well guess what? You're compeletely right! The trip wasn't over yet. Haha. I bet I got you all there.

Well looking back it wasn't exactly a very pleasant 2 years. Nah it's not all you classmates, although you are quite the assholes haha but never mind. Well sad to say it's not been very memorable either. In a pleasant way that is. And I'm still angry over how I missed my chance and now have to live with like the biggest ever regret that I have up to date. Ok school has been crap.

Haha ok not that bad. Made some pretty decent friends (I would like to think unless you all secretly hate my guts in which case I will be very upset). Ok and plus the people in class aren't really THAT BAD. Haha ok contrary to popular belief (my own belief) that is, the people in class are pretty decent. No real assholes. Haha ok that was a COMPLIMENT.

SCHOOL IS OVER. NO MORE GOING TO LIBRARY TO STUDY (or sort of anyway). NO MORE HANGING OUT TALKING SHIT WITH MY FRIENDS. NO MORE HOT GIRLS. (in library, not class)

Skipped school today. Seems to be the norm rather than the atypical. For most people that is. Me, Longkuan, Candice Danny not in school today. That's like 4/28 = 1/7 of us missing? Pretty good attendance rate actually.

Just watched 'Stories of Love' on Channel 5. It's a good show really. Today's show was about a teacher who wouldn't give up on her student. Mrs Au and Rahim. Apparently the guy screwed up his exams and dropped out and decided to go for tution classes and VOILA, the teacher happened to be his secondary school teacher mRs Au whom he thinks is an idiot but is actually a pretty much dedicated teacher. When Rahim asked 'Why you care so much?' I thought that that line was quite effective. Yeah and even though he screwed up again at the end at least he tried.

I think that it's impossible to be completely happy in this world. For most people at least. I really don't think that anyone can be perfect. Of coures this is just my world-weary jaded attitude that's speaking because I've never felt this way in my first 14 years of life. But honestly now, I'm not sure if it's just me or whether it's true but I honestly don't think many people can have it all. Someone may have money, intelligence, looks, girlfriend, friends and all that but he might still not be completely happy. On the other hand, someone with no money, looks and intelligence would feel that the other guy might be happy. Yet what everybody wants is totally different. We tend to take a lot of things for granted. So basically we don't treasure what we have until we lose it. Of course, if you manage to recover it it makes it all the more treasured but sometimes it's quite difficult. I certainly never thought that I would have lost what I've lost, or am losing now.

And no Cheryl, it's not about that girl.

It's been kind of a long while now and I guess the pain's still kind of there but whatever shit happens lol. And besides, there wasn't really anything much I felt until that happened, which according to my friend proves that it's nothing but uh possessiveness, unless of course you count Lady Catherine de Bourgh's uh deux ex machina. Well that's kind of bullshit and I know it. Whatever. Maybe it's my bruised ego. Ouch.

Anyway I have come to the conclusion that I should just clear my mind out. Like clean out my closet and junk all the unnecessary stuff out. Obviously there's going to be some sort of initial resistance that I can overcome. Kind of like activation energy lol. I hope the final result is endothermic, with the energy scale being the 'shit in my head'. Obviously the damn activation energy is going to be damn difficult to overcome and if the Ea is too high it will be energetically favourable but now I don't really give a damn if Gibbs Free Energy > 0 or not lol. Worrying about it all the time isn't going to help matters because worry breeds worry and we all know what breeding season is like with the damn rabbits. Yup they just keep multiplying. Hmm so if the head-on smash-and-bash method won't work maybe I'll try the 'oblivious' method which bascially involves me sitting like an idiot taking all the crap head-on without resistance. Hoot. Xin jing zi ran liang. Let's see if it works.

Campus Superstar final arriving soon. Good. Benjamin vs Shawn VS Zhengning vs Kelly. Nice nice. Except for the fact that the girls can't really sing but whatever maybe they will come up with something decent. Besides, since the final is 3.5 hours they better have something good.

To send a letter without an address
This kind of feeling
Is kind of distant

Whose song are you playing
How are you feeling now
Can you tell me

Are you quietly crying
Happiness isn't something easy to get
I'll always be there for you in the background

I can accompany you to see the stars
There's no need to explain
I just want to be with you

I don't wwant
To be separated from you again
I hope that every instance of beauty will be because of you

There you go. My wondeful translation of 'wo ke yi'. Obviously it sounds ridiculous but whatever the song is running in my head now.

I think maybe Neverland would be a good place to be in. Cause the children there don't grow up. I don't want to turn 18.

I didn't go to school today. I bet GAN thinks that I ponned or something but that's not true. I am really sick. With a flu. And I have an MC! I think it's the first of the year.

I'm listening to the song wo ke yi. It's a decent song. Not bad at all. Man I wish I could just obliterate the whole street sometimes so I wouldn't have to see some things happening.

Man, what is wrong with school? First period Gan. Well enough said. Second period free block today because Rachel was sick. Third period Maths lecture which I didn't pay attention. 4th period Puay Miao's spelling test. 5th period Vadi and his case-study stuff.

What a brilliant day to cap my return to school. All right it's my birthday soon. All right. The last time I got a birthday present from my parents was in Primary 5. Anyway uh I have 2 birthday wishes and 1 birthday present that I want. Now obviously I'm not going to say what are my wishes. And well nobody (almost) can get me what I want for my birthday present so I won't bother saying it either.

Oh yeah the ability to sing wouldn't be too bad.

I FINALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK AFTER 6 MONTHS. IS THAT NOT AMAZING? ALL THIS WHILE I HAVE BEEN SPONGING OFF MY 2ND BROTHER AND 3RD BROTHER. NOW MY COMPUTER IS BACK. AND IT FEELS WEIRD LOOKING AT THIS COMPUTER.

Whatever anyway I realize that I've been a total insenitive twit. Before you hand me the Nobel Prize for the Discover of the Century, it just occured to me how much I tend to flip people off without even bothering to care about their feelings. Like I really am a superficial (ass-observing, boob-watching and face-staring) kind of person. Man and you know what's the extent of that when you actually need people to point that out to you. Gah, it's time I learnt how not to just uh treat people I find uninteresting like dirt and giving them 1-word replies. I guess it kind of hurts. Oh well yes and I ain't going to win the SNAG award anytime soon because of the sensitive part.

Anyway, just to add on, I guses I'm also an oversuspicious, overpossessive, over-self-centred person. Oh well.

Phang Jun Da don't be a stupid fool. I'm trying not to. You're just taking things for too seriously loosen up like just forget about the whole thing. I'm trying to but it's difficult. Yeah well now that you see it everyday you should know huh. Yeah but it's DAMN FUCKING PAINFUL. But you don't have any other choice because you're utterly helpless and can only sit by and watch. Yes I know but IT'S FUCKING TEARING APART MY HEART.

You played me on, played me like a clown.
But I feel for you, even though I'm down.
My heart is heavy, heavy like a rock.
But I am so amused, you're still in my thoughts.

Ok this is going to be a damning, condescending and derogatory post. Yeah so if you don't want to read it don't.

You know there's a saying that good friends are like brothers, at least for the guys anyway. Yeah, we're supposed to be able to share everything, from clothes to food to drinks and all that. I guess technically speaking it's nobody's fault. I mean, I can't exactly fault him since the agent was partially-free. But still it hurts. Badly. It's one thing when something like that happens. It's another when one of your best buddies is involved.

I used to think that the bunch of us were the neighbourhood ah bengs. Yeah you know the gang shit, students by day, brothers by night. I honestly thought that was true. Hanging out with the neighbourhood guys kind of made me understand the meaning of the word friend. Like how we're expected to go through lot of shit together be it like sharing stuff going out or even getting owned by other people. To say the truth, I think I wouldn't have minded sticking up for any of them, even if they were in a fight. But of course, that might have been just stupid thinking on my part.

See, there are 6 of us. Me, B, M, M, W and W. I'm closer to B, M and M but yeah I'
m cool with the other 2 too. Anyway I still remember a conversation I had with M one day. We talked a lot of shit yeah but I think after that day, I respected him a lot because there was one thing he said he would do that I couldn't. But even though I couldn't do it, I was prepared to at least take one step back each and slug it out face-to-face with my pal. I definitely wouldn't have done anything behind my friend's back because I think it's pretty despicable to do so.

Yeah anyway it hurts a lot when shit like that happens. I guess it's partly my own fault for expecting too much and perhaps taking shit too seriously but then again I don't think I'll ever see my pal in the same light again. Because it sucks. Real bad. You fu tong xiang, you nan tong dang? More like you fu tong xiang, you nan wo pao. Weal and woe? I'm not even talking about chivalry, I'm talking plain old modern day friendship. I don't think it's really too much to ask for a friend not to do anything that might hurt you behind your back. I guess the saying is true then, that you can only see the mark of a real friend in times of crisis. Yeah like the time when two of us went cycling and we got lost and all. Even though you were quite a bitch and an asshole we still made it out of there together and I guess for that I respect you. In case you haven't realised, the 'you' I'm referring to isn't the same person.

One of my good friends has said that it's not that she doesn't trust people but she's been through shit before. I guess I can't really fault her for putting up a strong shield and barrier between her inner self and the surroundings now that I know what she's been through.

Yeah so now I feel like total shit and I'm trying to find someone to talk to but no one's available. But whatever, maybe there is some good in Gan's usual ramblings. At the end of the day, it's not going to be your friends covering your back when you're in deep shit but your family. Of coures, there are certain exceptions, especially if you really can find a really really good friend then is willing to literally take two knife-shots in the abdomen to save your ass. Then I must say that you're quite a rich person because your commodity is something which even money can't buy.

I really miss the time back in lower primary when we were all small innocent kids who only cared about playing and having fun. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

I'm not really angry or furious at you. More disappointed. That our friendship means so little.

So screw you bitch.

Myth of the day: Buckle-Buckley and Bayley-Waddle were tied for first.
Fact of the day: The people-in-charge miscounted.

Now please tell me how in the world did BB catch up? If I recall correctly, BW were ahead by 30 plus points at one stage. At the start of the day, BB had somehow managed to claw their way back from the doldrums of mediocrity to within 9 points of BW. Ok let's give them credit for their effort. Now what, at the end of the day, BW and BB tied for first place? Now please tell me how the heck that happened. Well, after careful analysis of all possible scenarios, I have arrived at the conclusion that the people in charge must have miscounted. I believe that the trophy should be safely kept in YJ's locker, not uh lost in some tug-of-war between BB and BW.

On a side note, CONGRATULATIONS TO LEW JIELIANG because HH achieved 3rd/4th place, which is pretty decent considering the fact that that house was really languishing in the dust and lost in the darkness for majority of the time. However, they finally picked up during the end of the season. Jieliang's hard work and determination must have finally paid off, or so it appears. Uh actually upon closer analysis, notice that the house only picked up when Jieliang stepped down. LOL. Haha kidding lah ok good job Jieliang anyway for doing a decent job of captaining your house.

Now, still on the subject of mystery and darkness, I would like to wish Crunch a happy birthday. Hoot. Ok it's a racist comment but it was meant in jest so it was racial nit-picking but not racial discrimination so yeah there's a difference. Anyway whatever happy birthday.

I would like a number 13 jersey. I have a class jersey from sec4g which is red and which i keh kiang printed number 7 behind, a green umbro one (damn smelly), the yellow one with the neighbours (number 5 and the same adidas one as vj what the heck) and some white colour jersey from Linus' church. Hoot.

National week next week hoot. Me thinks it a perfect parley to provocation to pon school. Hoot SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY. Anyway I think I should keep my mouth in check hoot i manage to say things which girls find disgusting distressful depraved and all that. LOL. Damn I should watch my tongue.

My hair is like some mop now. It feels crappy but at least it looks kind of decent. The problem with hair is that if it's short it feels decent but looks crappy and if it's long it looks decent, may feel crappy and gets you in trouble with tthe authorities, who clearly don't take kindly to grungy hairstyles.

I should stop being a negative influence lol. When Chew says it it's one thing. When Lew says it you ought to get a clearer picture. ME! A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE ON LEW JIELIANG LOL! But then again oh well. I think if left alone we seriously could be the menace of society. Then again I can be a menace with a ton other people and so can he. Lol but that's not the point.

And I'm wasting another damn night away.

The new background nice eh? Lol all Mervin Ang's handiwork ok you can now shower your praise on him on the tagboard. Anyway I have arrived at the conclusion that studying in school is POINTLESS. INEFFECTIVE. IN VAIN. TO NO AVAIL. FUTILE. Lol maybe it's just me. Today I spent 3 hours in the library with YJ and Yuk and what did I achieve? 1 question of KSP tutorial and 1 page of Econs notes. Damn it. And when I sit with other people I also end up talking. So it's not the other people it's just me and my incessant chatter.

Well apparently the table for Grad Night has been booked. Well how amazing. So we get to pay 88 bucks to go there and eat Chinese food. They say that girls always look pretty on Grad Night. At least that's the common myth anyway. We can put that theory to the test on that night lol. Maybe the makeup will do wonders haha. Ok ok just kidding don't kill me.

Surprisingly there are quite a few cute/hot chicks around. Just that I've never really noticed. Anyway now I have and it's good. For me anyway haha. And the baggy school shirt is surprisingly deceptive. It hides assets. And that's not good. Anyway the chicks still look cute/hot in school tops so it doesn't really matter.

Phang & Mervin

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