That's Life

WARNING: BY READING THE FOLLOWING POST, YOU HEREBY AGREE THAT THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY CHARGES SUCH AS SLANDER BROUGHT AGAINST HIM. DUE TO THE SHOCKING AND EXPLICIT NATURE OF THE FOLLOWING POST, ALL READERS WITH A WEAK INTELLECTUAL DISPOSITION ARE ADVISED NOT TO CONTINUE.

It's my prerogative.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime. On first sight, it looks like our friend here is madly in love with a girl and is thinking of her everyday and will be thinking about her for the rest of his life, or so he hopes. Upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that he doesn't really think of the girl that much. According to his declaration, he should get a rose everytime he thinks of the girl. However, he claims that if he did that, he would have to pick roses for life. Obviously he does NOT think of her and hence obviously does not GET a rose, so he has to resort to picking roses to trick the girl. Sigh. What a sucker.

When the betrayed betrays in turn. Now our friend here is obviously someone who grapples with philosophy everyday. If the betrayed betrays in turn, he becomes a betrayer. Thus, it would appear that the person would be a betrayed betrayer. However a betrayer does not betray in turn because he is supposed to betray people anyway. Yet there exists the problem of his being betrayed, which adds weight to his use of in turn. So is this person someone who was betrayed and thus is betraying or is betraying because he was betrayed? Well the answer is obvious. There is no answer.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments which take our breath away. Yes I know, you're all thinking what an apt and beautiful quote this is. THINK AGAIN. This quote is like telling you that distance is not measured by the number of footsteps we take. It's an obvious statement. Each of us require different amounts of oxygen to survive. Hence, it is therefore obvious there each of us take different amounts of breaths. Each breath contains a different composition of oxygen and nitrogen and other substances from the others. Anyway here's some food for thought: A person who is on the verge of dying is usually gasping for air and taking a lot of breaths, whereas a person who is just hanging around is usually not taking as many breaths. Does it mean that the person who takes more breaths is likely to live longer? Life is thus best measured in terms of years.
Now, life is obviously measured by the moments which take our breath away. If your breath is taken away, obviously you won't be living for much longer because you will die from lack of oxygen. Thus, moments which take your breath away is a pretty good indicator of life.

The first step to being smart is to know that you're stupid. Now if all of us admit our stupidity, is it actually smart of us or stupid of us? If you say it is truely the first step to being smart, well you sure aren't going to get anywhere beyond the first step because if you're stupid, you're stupid, you can't be smart. Yet if you refuse to admit that you're stupid, you're actually being stupid because you refuse to admit the truth. Paradoxes.

Let's go get ourselves some babies. LOL all male readers please be alert, this is obviously a mating call by Coco C****, aka cereal girl. Now what does she need in order to get a baby? Well obviously she needs a guy. And the guy must obviously be drunk. Or insane. Anyway, she'll get a baby in 9 months.

There you have it, the unveiled meanings of quotable quotes.

Disclaimer: All resemblance to similar characters in real life are purely coincidental.