That's Life

Well it's the second week of the hols now. Gah. You know the hols these days suck. Actually the best part of the holidays is the looking foward to it part. Now guess what it's 12:58 pm on my computer clock, well actually it's not my computer but rather the family computer, the guest room computer or my brother's computer.

Speaking of which I am feeling quite sad and miserable. I have been pondering about the meaning of things lately and trust me, don't. It's quite fruitless to start wondering how things work and how the world functions because there is never one definite answer, and once you start exploring the different possibilities you realize that there are infinite possibilites which can be explored and obviously you aren't going to be able to explore all of them otherwise your cerebral cortex confirm corrode cruelly and confirm cannot cure. Ok pardon me but the alliteration was quite fun, albeit useless.

Speaking of which, I am still sad. Sadness sadly surrounds my surroundings. Ok here we go again but I think I shall stop it it's getting pretty irritating. Anyway I want to accomplish a few things in my penultimate holidays. Yes how time just flies doesn't it? After this year, we aren't going to have holidays anymore.

You know what's the strange thing about my holidays. The main thing I really want to do during holidays is to just spend time with my grandparents. Strange huh but I've been going to their place ever since I was born and a teeny tot. There's no computer there, no like hip shopping complex nearby and no games there. But there's this quaint old feeling there that I just can't seem to find anywhere. I used to love watching the sunset from the 22nd storey. It's just quite beautiful how the surroundings are bathed in this warm golden hue that's not too catching but not too insignificant either. I've got a total of 3 photos on my phone, of which 2 are views from my grandparents' house, one a picture taken in the afternoon and one a picture taken at night.

When I was small, I always wanted to grow up quickly because I thought that kids were pretty much trapped and had no freedom. Now that I've grown up, yes I've grown despite the fact that some of you idiots out there would definitely challenge my intellectual ascension, I can't help wanting to return to the 1990s. Back when I was a small chubby kid who always aced his tests. Now I can't even pass some tests. Sigh. You know, even though spending the time watching old Ch8 re-runs and eating dinner at 5 plus and playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the very first game boy may seem like a sad life to many people I still want to go back. You know when I was small like in primary school I used to think I would definitely make it to like Cambridge or Harvard. Judging from my grades now it seems pretty foolish I guess but hey when you're a small little kid nothing's impossible. Some people are late bloomers I guess but I guess I was an early one. Sigh we learnt some phrase back in sec school about 'xiao shi liao liao, da wei bi jia'. Guess that sort of applies to me.

Hmm I realize that I never really met with any setback when I was a kid. Sure I used to quarrel with my parents here and there but let's face it the only problem I had in primary school was competing with my friend to make our crush, haha yes we both liked the same person, like us. I still remember that the girl told my friend that she liked me because I was smart. Haha ok don't laugh. I was pretty much over the moon then. Then my friend came into the picture. Oh well but it was friendly competition I guess. It all seems so sweet and naive back then haha. Anyway I don't think that girl reads this blog so I guess I'm pretty safe but even if she does I'll bet she still finds it pretty sweet that we were small innocent kids back then who were afraid to talk to one another. Haha. And I still remember how my girl friend passed me and my friend some photos of the girl and how she was so annoyed haha and me and my friend were also pretending to not care but actually we were really thrilled haha because back then it was a big thing to take photos with girls. And I was this shy, quiet little kid back then, which sounds hard to believe given my penchant for uttering gibberish at random intervals now, but I guess we all grow up. And when I was small I always thought that I was not really happy but now when I look back I realize how blessed I was at that time. Not many people here can really say that they had a happy childhood but yah on retrospect I guess my was pretty much perfect.

Rj isn't that bad actually lah even though I get suanned like every single day. Yes I'm sure you culprits know who you are. I'm going to get you all for this one day. Haha ok just kidding lah I guess I like being the joker. Somebody's gotta do the job anyway. Haha but it's pretty sad because the one real regret that I have up to date took place in Rj. Don't want to talk about it. No it's not that I should have gone to HC. Haha but well I think at least someone knows what I'm talking about.

Sigh sometimes I wish I didn't like going out and spending money so much. There are so many things I want. Economics states that we all have unlimited wants but limited resources so yah I guess I can't have everything that I want. Ok let me just name stuff that I want. I want a new pair of football boots that will cost at least 100 bucks, some new T-shirts that will cost like 15 bucks each, a pair of black jeans that I think isn't going to be available for less than 50 dollars and happiness. Haha there's a slight problem with the last want though because it's priceless. And it's not just the price, or the lack of it, but also the problem of where to find it. I guess all of us have different things which make us happy but the problem is that quick fixes don't last forever. I don't really think it's a question of 'zhi zu chang le' but then again maybe I'm just being subjective. Material wants are so transient but I guess that's the only source of happiness, temporary I must add, that I can find for the moment.

This is probably the longest post that I've ever typed but if you look carefully I guess it isn't incoherent but abstract I guess. There's a train of thought somewhere inside. And actually here's a secret: I don't really mean all the insults I throw at you guys haha. Haha yes you are actually girls, not 1/4 or 1/2 or 3/4 girl. Nothing much to say about the guys though because I guess we all have an understanding that most things are meant to be insulted anyway. Not in a bad way but just well, in a normal way.

So long suckers. Haha.