That's Life

This sucks. The holidays are zooming by and I haven't really accomplished anything I want to do. It's the 3rd week already. And things are getting worse. Basically I wake up at some ridiculously late time everyday and then spend the rest of the day moping and mulling around the house. Heck, I've even lost interest in going out. Now I know for sure something's wrong.

Bleargh. This is the first time I've typed this word out I think. Anyway whatever I just decided to kope something which I found. I'm going to write 5 things I'm going to say to different people but they are things which I'm probably never going to say. And I'm not supposed to say who are the different people. Lol the actual thing was 10 but I'm lazy to write.

1. Thanks for being a great friend. Even though you're quite an idiot sometimes at least you're someone I can talk to. And hey you give good advice and are attempt to cheer me up when I'm feeling crappy (which is most of the time) so I guess that's pretty good. And I never thought we were going to be close, in fact sometimes I don't know how we got to be close but hey, I'm not complaining.

2. Darn I wonder what would have happened if I had told you. Things would probably have changed but for the better or worse I don't know. But hey there was a big step involved and I didn't want to take the chance.

3. Though I didn't really like you then (most people didn't actually), I realized that you were just doing what you had to do and what was best for us. You probably don't really remember me and the rest of the others but well it helps that a large part of the best few years of my life were spent under your charge and I'm glad that I can look back on everything that happened then, be they good or bad, with fondness.

4. I don't know why you had to do it. Maybe it would have been better for us, me actually, if you had not made the first move. Now I'm not sure where things go from here. You give me hints and clues, not definitive answers and now I'm not sure if I'm just making a fool of myself. Or maybe that's your game plan at least. I'm falling pretty fast and hard and I don't think that's very wise of me but I can't help it.

5. Sometimes I don't know if you're a friend or not. There are times when I just think you're just trying to get company and trying to be closer to me than I allow you to and when I need your help you just refuse beacuse of stupid reasons but they're also other times when you appear nice. I guess I'm not a good friend to you but that's because I'm not sure if you're my good friend or not.